Monday, April 5, 2010

What happened-Aidan’s last day

I’m finally up for writing this. This one will be mostly pictures. I’ll continue the rest of the story on a different day. I can only emotionally handle so much.

I woke up around 8am on Tuesday and I called the NICU to check on Aidan. He made it through the night, but wasn’t doing so good. He went from wetting the bed and filling diapers to barely peeing at all. I told them that we would be there sometime in the morning.  It was Chris’s birthday and he is not a morning person so I let him sleep in a little bit.  I pumped before we left so that I wouldn’t have to take care of getting the milk to the bank. My mom had called our pastor to have him meet us at the hospital. We told him that we’d be there around 11, but like usual we were late. It didn’t help that we had another huge snow storm and the roads sucked. We got a big bag so we could take home all of Aidan’s things because I didn’t want to bring his items home in a clear patient bag. 

We got to the hospital around 11:30 and that was about the time my parent’s arrived. While Chris parked the card my mom and I went to the gift shop to buy Chris a Happy Birthday card from Aidan. We went upstairs and met Dick, our Pastor, in the lobby of the NICU.  Chris and I took Dick back to meet Aidan. He prayed for Aidan and he prayed for us.  I wasn’t sure about getting Aidan baptized so I asked Dick. He told us that it was up to us and that we couldn’t do anything “wrong.” We decided to have Aidan baptized so Dick got things set up.  I’m so glad we made that decision. IMG_2163 I was really glad that Dick could make it because I wanted him there to give us more strength, but we had never been through this before and we didn’t know what to do.  It was also great for him to be there for our families who were waiting in the lobby.  He stayed with us, in the room, while everyone said goodbye.

When we walked into the room we noticed a couple of scrap book pages sitting on the shelves. Natalie had made the pages for us and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express how grateful I am for those pictures.  By this time both families were in the lobby ready to say their last goodbyes.

The nurses had the top of Aidan’s isolate up so that we could say our goodbyes easier by being able to see him and touch him. Even though I knew his time was short I was still very strict to make sure everyone used hand sanitizer and only touched him. We were told that rubbing hurt his skin. I did not want him in pain.IMG_2164 (Aunt Katie)

IMG_2166 (Momo, Aunt Katie and me)

IMG_2172 (Grandma Nancy and Uncle Adam)

I have a fantastic picture of Aidan with Uncle Adam, but it’s too close up to Aidan’s face and I’m still not comfortable posting that yet. Sorry.

 IMG_2174 (Grandpa Larry)

IMG_2176 (Frampa)

It was time for Chris and I to hold Aidan one last time. Since his parent’s were in the room with us the night before while we held him, I wanted mine in the room this time.


I’m so in love with that boy and having him in my arms was the perfect place for him.  I sleep with that quilt that my mom made every night. It touched my baby.


Not such a great family picture, but that doesn’t matter. It was our last family picture.


My back was hurting so bad and I couldn’t get readjust to get in a comfortable position so I had to let him go. I almost collapsed as I ran to my dad’s arms after the nurses had Aidan.

IMG_2184 My heart melts looking at my husband holding his son.


I’ll continue this later.

I love you Aidan Christopher!



  1. Beautiful pictures, Maggs. I'm so glad you were able to capture everyone holding him. We have similar pictures of our family saying goodbye to Olivia and I am so thankful for them.

    Again, thank you so much for being so open about your story. I look forward to each of your updates. :)

  2. This is so sad and yet so sweet, Maggie. Those are wonderful pictures...they made me cry.

  3. cue tears... My heart goes out to you.

  4. what bittersweet memories...thank you for sharing this time with us

    Donna D

  5. Thanks for sharing your pictures with us.

  6. Those are beautiful pictures. I think it's great that you sleep with the blanket that covered your son. What a great way to be close to him.

  7. Every time I read your blog I am so blown away at your strength. I always end up in tears, not only because Aidan had to leave you so early, but because he was so blessed to have such a great mommy and a great daddy. I wish every baby could be so lucky to have such wonderful parents.

  8. Thank you for sharing these pictures of your beautiful son, Maggie. Your strength and positive outlook about the time you had with Aidan never ceases to amaze me. He is one lucky little boy to have such a wonderful family.