Saturday, December 31, 2011

Feeling better!

So the funk that I've been in has finally passed. It was the holidays. It started in early November when I was looking to order a personalized ornament for our family, except I couldn't find anything that worked. I could have included Aidan as one of the kid penguins, but that didn't feel right to me. I also didn't want to just not include him. So I gave up and on the weekends when I didn't have my mind going 80 different ways, I was depressed. Chris was always asking me what was wrong and early December I finally figured it out. Christmas eve we went to visit Aidan and I let it all out. I just stood there and sobbed. It felt amazing. Christmas went fantastic. Lucas was spoiled, Aidan wasn't forgotten and we just had a good day. Ever since then, I've been feeling better. That didn't happen last year so I know it's because I'm healing more.

I love you Aidan Christopher and Lucas Alexander. You boys are my heart and soul


Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from our family to yours


Merry Christmas Lucas

Dear Lucas,
This will probably be the only Christmas when I'm awake before you. You are still fast asleep upstairs while mommy sits here ready to rip open the presents patiently for you to wake up. You are mommy and daddy's Christmas miracle. When I get sad, all I have to do is hold you and I feel better. You stare in amazement at the tree and it's been a joy enjoying this first Christmas through your eyes.
Yes mommy and daddy like to put you in the diaper box and push you around the room

Oh wait, I hear you talking right now. You don't talk in your sleep, but boy do you snore. You are just like daddy in that department! I woke up this morning to find you sleeping like a frog. On your belly with your knees up, but feet wide apart. You are such my little belly sleeper. When you went to visit Santa, you asked for you two front teeth. While you didn't get two, you do have a tooth that has finally popped through. It's not all the way up yet.

Our tree this year is modestly decorated. I see it as an improvement because last year we didn't put up a tree. We have angels for your brother and we have "Baby's 1st Christmas" for you. Of course we had to get ornaments with both of your names on them.
Last night you helped me make sugar cookies for Santa. We also made the frosting. Yummy
Well you and daddy are coming down the stairs. So let's go enjoy your first Christmas.

I love you so much Lucas Alexander.


Merry Christmas Aidan

Dear Aidan,

It's been a long time since I've written to you. I talk to you daily though so that's okay. :-) I miss you so much sweetie. This should be your second Christmas with us. You should be up right now jumping on our bed trying to wake us up. Instead I got up a little earlier so I could spend time down stairs crying. I want to remember your brother's first Christmas as a happy time so I made some time to be alone and cry.
We went to visit you yesterday and saw that Grandma and Grandpa had been out too. Grandpa said that he had to give you a fresh pinwheel for Christmas.
Of course we had your brother with us. He was trying to watch your pinwheel go the entire time we were there. He picked it out for you.
We drove by again last night after it was dark and we could see the lights glowing from candy cane lights. I love that. I love that I can instantly spot you in the darkness now.

I love you so much Aidan Christopher and words can not describe how much I miss you and wish you were still here with us.

Merry Christmas baby,

Monday, December 19, 2011

It's not the best quality but

I love this picture

I took this a few weeks ago when I was getting ready to put up the tree. Lucas had fun playing with the lights.

Still here I promise

This holiday season has been hard on me. So I'm trying to focus on Lucas and trying to keep other things (such as this blog)on the back burner while I work through this time. I miss Aidan and I miss being my normal happy go lucky self. While the boys sleep in this Saturday, I'll post some pictures of Lucas and then maybe after the holidays when I'm feeling better ::crosses fingers:: I'll write about what's going on.

I love you Aidan Christopher and I miss you so incredibly much.
Lucas Alexander, I love you with all of my heart and soul. You are my bright spot on dreary days.


Thursday, December 1, 2011

9 months

Yeah this is a little late and not the normal picture. I will take the normal picture this weekend

Age: 9 months

Weight/Length: He went to the dr on 11/29. He is 17 lbs 13 oz and 27 3/4 inch. He went from the 2nd percentile to the 9th in 3 months. Way to go little dude!

Size: He wears 6m sleepers and 3-6m clothes.

Teeth: Still none

Sleeping: He loves it. He sleeps through the night and takes lots of naps

Eating: Lots. Still 30oz of milk/formula mixture and 2-3 jars of food. We would get 3 in every day except that he likes his pre bedtime nap and sleeps through that 3rd jar.

Movement: He is a champ at rolling. He's crawling a little bit, but prefers to roll

Milestones: He is such much better at changing directions. He uses his feet a lot more to spin around when he's sitting.

Favorite Toys: He loves his remote and football and this new Octopus thing by Leapfrog

Dislikes: He is starting to understand the word no. He is not happy when I tell him not to take of his hat/ socks. If he doesn't get his way, he's starting to throw a fit

Words/sounds: He's saying mama and dada more when looking at us. He's also saying baba when the bottle is around.
I love you Aidan Christopher and Lucas Alexander!