Friday, December 31, 2010

Follow up to last week's trip to L&D

I had my normal NST on Monday and I asked to speak with a dr that I have seen and knows my history.  Dr B was scheduled to be in surgery so she wasn't available. Nuggy passed the test with flying colors and I had no contractions. The tech (that I really like) went to show my results to the dr I requested and I could hear Dr. B talking. Imagine my delight and relief when she walked in the room. She told me she was shown my chart and that I went to L&D and then asked why. I was honest with her and told her how upset I was with the way that we were "cared" for by the other dr in the practice. While we were talking she could hear Nuggy moving around and watched his hr and was very pleased.  She told me what happened last week is their normal procedure, but I'm not a normal patient and need extra "hand holding." That's exactly what I was thinking, but I don't want to ask too much.  She said that she'll note in my chart that I always have to see a dr to explain things to me. I only have 2 more appointments where I don't see her and I see the dr that knows my past, so I'm not too worried.

I left that appointment feeling much better and way less terrified. Dr. B called on Tuesday after she did a more in depth look at my results from Thursday. Come to find out, the machines they use are new and are known to pick up the mom's heart beat and so it looks like the baby's hr is going really low.  So their normal procedure is to send mom's to labor and delivery to a longer test with more sensitive monitors. That's fine, but FREAKING TELL ME THAT BEFORE SENDING ME TO L&D!!!! Then she told me that the test for the UTI was never ran. She said to make sure that I don't bill for it because there are no results. That really ticks me off. We waited close to an hour for the dr to call in that test and it was never ran. 

I had my second normal appointment yesterday and Nuggy looked great on the u/s. He was practice breathing the whole time. We just sat and watched his belly move up and down. Man I love that little boy! Then he passed the NST with flying colors. My dad came to this appointment and he loved it. When Nuggy finally woke up, my dad sat on the edge of his seat watching Nuggy's hr and listening to him kick the monitors. Dr. B again is very happy with the results and said everything is going perfectly. Yay!

Only 51 days until we get to meet our Nuggy, and not a day sooner cord or ute!

I love you Aidan Christopher and Nugget


Thursday, December 30, 2010

Nugget's adventure-trip to L&D

So I mentioned that last Thursday I was sent to L&D after the dr was concerned about Nugget from the NST.  Notice that I didn't say Dr. B was concerned... it was another dr.  Dr. B was out of the office and I was assigned to a different dr.  Nugget was super active that day and kept moving away from the monitors so I would lose his heart rate. After about 5 minutes of trying to find it, I gave up and waited for the tech to come in. I mean it is her job to check on me...about 10 minutes later she finally came back in. I had tried again to find it and I found a heartbeat, but I didn't know who's it was.  She took my chart to this dr that I was supposed to see and when she came back said well it looks like we're going to send you to L&D for monitoring........MY HEART FREAKING SANK! The tech saw that Nugget had stayed on the monitor while she was gone so she took that strip to see if that one passed. Once again the dr said I was being sent to L&D. Okay, minus never seeing the dr, this is exactly what happened with Aidan.  I wasn't told anything and just sent over there.

If you know my family's history, you won't be surprised at the fact that I just shut down. I was staring out the window and couldn't move. Once we walked over to the maternity floor, I had to go through the admissions crap again. The lady couldn't find my previous admittance, when Aidan was born, but then was able to find it right before having to go over everything. I was in the same room, just a floor below.  Not good for the paranoid/anxious/terrified pregnant lady! We kept getting told that the dr who sent us over would be in to see us in a few minutes.  I was put back on the monitors for a better NST and I was laying flat on my back. Nugget still was kicking up a storm and then got the hiccups. About 5 minutes into the nurse comes in and asks how long I've been feeling pressure. I had been feeling pressure, but I assumed it was Nugget balling up because it wasn't all over pressure.  Yeah......not so much, I was having contractions that were being picked up on the monitor.

The nurses rushed me out of my regular clothes so that they could do a test to see if I would go into labor in the next 2 weeks. Well I was rushed out of my clothes, but the test wasn't given for what seemed like 30 minutes later. At that point I was shaking like a leaf! I kept thinking I need the steroid shots in case I have to have my c/s sooner. I have to get that extra little bit to help strengthen his blood vessels in his brain. I know the steroids are to help with lung maturity, but another bleed was a bigger concern of mine.  Now, I was not prepared to be admitted to the hospital. Read, I was not prepared to be stripped down and put in a gown.  Still can't read between the lines? There was no shaveage and I was sooo embarrassed! The nurses said put your heels together and let your knees hang down. Chris and I obviously know how Aidan and Nugget were created, but we're still modest.  Let's just say, it's been awhile since I've seen that man run so fast to get around the corner. lol They did the test and after waiting an hour and a half that came back negative. I was also given a shot of terbutaline to stop the contractions and that worked too. The nurse did an internal to see if the contractions were making me dilate, OMG WHY HAS NO ONE TOLD ME HOW PAINFUL THOSE ARE?

The nurse walked in with my discharge papers...notice how I never once mentioned a dr coming to see me? Yeah that's because it never happened, the dr went home and never followed up with me!!!!!!!!!! Pissed is only a small word to describe how we felt about that. We had to wait another 15-20 minutes because they were concerned I might have a UTI, but didn't get the test done. So we had to wait for the Dr to call back in and call for that test.  After I peed in the cup I got dressed and we headed home.  I was so incredibly sore from the contractions, shaking and Nugget kicking up a storm. I was told limited activity and have spent more time laying on the couch the past week than I would like. I'd much rather be laying on the couch instead of in the hospital though!

So that was our first trip to the hospital with Nugget and hopefully we won't go back until 10am on 2/21 for his birthday!


Monday, December 27, 2010

30 weeks!!!

He turned into a squash at 29w, but I didn't realize that until today. Here's what the bump says about this month.  
    Baby’s energy is surging, thanks to the formation of white fat deposits beneath the skin. (Have those kicks and jabs to the ribs tipped you off yet?) Baby is also settling into sleep and waking cycles, though -- as you’ve also probably noticed -- they don’t necessarily coincide with your own. Also this month, all five senses are finally functional, and the brain and nervous system are going through major developments. 

and for this week from baby center:
      Your baby's about 15.7 inches long now, and he weighs almost 3 pounds (like a head of cabbage). A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds him, but that volume will decrease as he gets bigger and takes up more room in your uterus. His eyesight continues to develop, though it's not very keen; even after he's born, he'll keep her eyes closed for a good part of the day. When he does open them, he'll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision – which means he can only make out objects a few inches from hir face. (Normal adult vision is 20/20.) 

I'm feeling pretty good. My ribs are sore and so is my back, but I love it! We had an interesting afternoon on Thursday and I'll blog about that later.

I love you Aidan Christopher and Nugget


Saturday, December 25, 2010

It was hard

Today was much harder than I expected.  I had a really good Christmas, but we all knew something/someone was missing.  I got up kind of early to finish wrapping the Christmas presents. I had the yule log on tv that had some Christmas songs playing. Then I did a very stupid thing... I went to facebook.  There were all these posts from parents with little kids. Going into detail of the twinkle in their children's eyes as they came down stairs and saw that Santa had been there.  I wouldn't want anyone to not post about their Christmas, but I should have avoided facebook.  I just sat and started bawling. I miss my baby and I so badly wanted to pick Aidan up from his crib and see his face on his first Christmas.  Chris came down stairs and found me in a puddle of tears, snot and mascara from the night before. He just hugged me, teared up and wiped the snot/tear mixture.

We then went to his parent's house for breakfast. It was perfect! Chris and I were spoiled and so was Nuggy. Grandma and Grandpa hooked him up with a bunch of froggy stuff for bath time.  I loved that they included Aidan in the presents for Nugget.  I really needed that because it reminds me that he is not forgotten. Of course none of the grand parents could ever forget him, but I really need that reminder.

After breakfast we went home for a nice 2 hour nap. Once we woke up we headed to the cemetery. That's where breakdown # 2 happened.  Grandma Nancy had made an ornament that says Our little star with his name on it. Chris and I just started crying. We hugged while we told our sweet Aidan that we love him and miss him so incredibly much.  From there we went to my parent's house.  We were spoiled again, and so was Nuggy. My parents got us some awesome stuff, but I think my favorite things were the frog garden statue and a dragonfly to hang on our wall.  Nuggy got some blankets and a bottle with my dad's college on it.

Overall, it was a good Christmas, but a lot harder than I was expecting.  Snoopy is all snuggled on daddy's lap and Nuggy is kicking up a storm. Of course we're counting our blessings, but we are missing a huge chunk of us. So tonight, instead of kissing our sweet Aidan as we tuck him into bed, we'll lay in bed being thankful for our short time with him, his little brother who already keeps us on our toes and pray that next year will be a much happier time.

I love you Aidan Christoper and Nugget


Merry Christmas


Merry Christmas baby boy.  What's it like celebrating with the star of the show?  Tell Jesus that we say Happy Birthday.  Mommy and daddy are having a good Christmas this year. It's not exactly what we had envisioned this time last year.  We decided to have minimal Christmas. We didn't send out cards, we didn't put up a tree, and our decorations are very modest. We love it.  You helped teach us the important things in life and we are celebrating that this year.  Next year, we pray, will be filled with our traditions of Christmas past, but this year is perfect.

We love you so much sweetie and miss you just as much.


Wednesday, December 22, 2010

He is soo grounded!

I woke up this morning at 6 and normally after I wake up so does Nugget.  I always say he likes to help mommy make sure the bladder is empty.  Well he didn't wake up (or I couldn't feel him) and I didn't think about it. Then when Chris got up to shower at 6:40 I still hadn't felt him move. I started to worry a little. So I rubbed my belly and said Nuggy it's time to wake up....nothing. Not going to lie, I was starting to panic, so I started poking the belly and talking to him more. At 7 I still didn't feel anything. At this point Chris was in bed with me talking to Nugget and trying to coax him to move. I looked at Chris at 7:10 and we both had tears in ours eyes.  Finally at 7:15 I got a nice jab and then I was able to get 10 kicks within 10 minutes. I even was sitting there asking Aidan to help us to get him moving. I.was.scared!

Yes, to some it was probably an over-reaction, but I don't care. I'm paranoid and we were both terrified. We were thisclose to calling Dr.B and heading to labor and delivery. He's been super active this morning and I just keep telling him that he's mom is a freak.

I love you Aidan Christopher and (my pain in the butt) Nugget


Monday, December 20, 2010

29 Weeks!

I seriously typed that with the biggest smile on my face. :-)

Yeah, it's a crappy looking picture, but I was trying to take it quickly because someone else was in there. :-) I'm feeling really good. My ribs are starting to get sore. I thought people were nuts for complaining about that, but dang it hurts.  Nuggy is breech (well as of Thursday) and I can tell. The kicks to the cervix at the same time getting punched in the ribs is an interesting feeling. I love it! Tomorrow, it will be 2 months until Nuggy's birthday (and not a day sooner!). This pregnancy is flying by.  Hopefully everything continues to go smoothly and bring my baby home in 2 months.

  Your baby is growing rapidly now. This week he weighs about 2 1/2 pounds (like a butternut squash) and is a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel. His muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and his head is getting bigger to accommodate his growing brain – which is busy developing billions of neurons. Every day, about 200 milligrams of calcium is deposited in your baby's skeleton, which is now hardening. With this rapid growth, it's no surprise that your baby's nutritional needs reach their peak during this trimester. 

I love you Aidan Christopher and Nuggy!


Friday, December 17, 2010


We made it passed 28w4d!!!! I have not stopped beaming since the dr appointment yesterday.  Nuggy and my cord are fantastic.  He weighs 2lbs 14oz (2 oz shy of 3lbs) and is measuring a full week ahead.  With Aidan, he weighed in at 2lbs and was measuring a week behind. Nugget is breech right now and took some practice breaths yesterday. It was so neat to watch his little (little? lol) belly move up and down with each breath.  

During the NST he decided to go back to sleep (normal nap time), the tech didn't load the paper right, and the monitors were hurting me because they were so low.  None of that matters because he passed with flying colors! I ended up being monitored for 45 minutes because of the paper not loaded correctly. Ummm okay, I'll sit there and listen to his little heart beat.

Dr. B is very very impressed with his level activity. She said that he continues to amaze her. Well Nuggy does have an awesome big brother who is giving him encouragement. Her eyes started to well up when she was talking about how well Nuggy is doing.  My weight has gone up, but I have no idea how much. It's so freeing to look away from the scale and not care.

I'm now experiencing new things in a pregnancy and while right now it's still the same as what I was's new! It's 1 day longer than last time.  Thank you all for your love, support, thoughts and prayers for the past almost year. I wouldn't have been able to grieve Aidan or celebrate Nugget as much without you.

Oh and speaking of Aidan, because I don't do that 20 bazillion times a day, my mom had a grave blanket made for him. It's like a flat wreath and I love it! My mom has my camera, but we took lots of pictures of it.

I love you Aidan Christopher and Nugget.


Monday, December 13, 2010

Well, we're here....28 weeks

I'm still feeling a lot less scared than I was last Monday for my appointment. Nugget has been kicking up a storm and that helps a ton!  I have a non-stress test (NST) today at 4:30 to check his activity.  I go to the dr twice a week now. On Monday's I have the NST and on Thursdays I have an ultrasound, NST and follow up with Dr. B.  I'm going to miss these people a ton after February 21st (not a second sooner!)

I love you Aidan Christopher and Nugget!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

It's the little things...

Two things to be very excited about

1. I passed my glucose tolerance test!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I'm very excited that I passed the glucose test because I really really like sweets this pregnancy. I'm even more excited that I didn't have a baby that day.  Hey, it's the little things that are getting me through.

I love you Aidan Christopher and my sweets loving Nugget


Tuesday, December 7, 2010

27 weeks

Okay so this is a bad picture of my face, but Nugget looks good. lol  I'm starting with myself this time because I have a lot of updating.  I know that I've said that I was worried the past 2 weeks, but honestly I've been terrified. I was so afraid that at my appointment yesterday we'd find out that my cord was failing again. I was having nightmares every night for a week about it. Everyone kept reminding me that I could feel him move so much and that meant everything was fine, but it didn't to me. Nothing helped calm me down. Chris might even say I was a huge bitch to him (sorry mom), but he knew I didn't mean it.

 I cried all the way to work yesterday and all the way to the hospital before my appointment. I asked Aidan to help calm me down. As I was walking towards the elevators someone was coming the opposite way. This is when I knew Aidan was listening, it was my grief counselor. I just started crying and explaining all my fears. She just held me and then we prayed. Yes she's at the hospital Mondays and Tuesdays, but she's on the 4th floor while my dr is in a different building. I so badly needed her and didn't know it until I saw her.

When I was called back for the u/s Chris and I slowly,nervously, got up and started walking towards the door. The tech could tell we were nervous because she knows me and I'm never like that. When she first put the wand on my belly we saw Nugget head down facing my back. So she quickly got his heart rate before he started getting squirmy and make it more difficult. Shortly after that he rolled over and was facing us. After all the measurements were taken she told us how much he weighs. He weighs about 2 pounds 6 ounces!!!! Such a huge relief because I knew that it meant the cord was still working. Then I started crying because he's bigger than Aidan. Of course I knew he would, but it still made me cry. It was bitter sweet.  Then she looked at the cord, said it was perfect and I started crying again.  She then just sat and let us watch him move around because she knew how emotional this appointment was.  

Dr B said all the results from the u/s and the NST looked great and she was very happy with everything. She said that most babies this small aren't this active on the NST and she said Aidan must be talking to him all the time. That put me in tears too. Then she said the most honest and humbling thing. She said that she's has been nervous/worried this pregnancy and after this appointment she feels more confident. Of course we all know something could happen, but her honesty made me feel so much better!  

I feel like I lost about 10 lbs worth of stress after that appointment and I'm feeling so much better. Speaking of weight, I only gained 1 lb in 2 weeks with Thanksgiving in there. Woot Woot. Total weight gain is now 20lbs

About Nugget
This week, your baby weighs almost 2 pounds (like a head of cauliflower) and is about 14 1/2 inches long with his legs extended. He's sleeping and waking at regular intervals, opening and closing her eyes, and perhaps even sucking her fingers. With more brain tissue developing, your baby's brain is very active now. While his lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with a lot of medical help — if he were born now. Chalk up any tiny rhythmic movements you may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on. Each episode usually lasts only a few moments, and they don't bother him, so just relax and enjoy the tickle 

I love you Aidan Christopher and Nugget!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Hello 3rd tri

Our goal is to stay with you all the way to 38 weeks.  We didn't get a chance to get to know each other in the last pregnancy. So bring on the aches and pain and I will gladly accept them.

Yes I'm on a blogging break. I have so much to say, but I can't. I'm just going to leave it at that I'm afraid. Nugget is doing wonderful, but I'm afraid.

I love you Aidan Christopher and Nugget