Saturday, December 25, 2010

It was hard

Today was much harder than I expected.  I had a really good Christmas, but we all knew something/someone was missing.  I got up kind of early to finish wrapping the Christmas presents. I had the yule log on tv that had some Christmas songs playing. Then I did a very stupid thing... I went to facebook.  There were all these posts from parents with little kids. Going into detail of the twinkle in their children's eyes as they came down stairs and saw that Santa had been there.  I wouldn't want anyone to not post about their Christmas, but I should have avoided facebook.  I just sat and started bawling. I miss my baby and I so badly wanted to pick Aidan up from his crib and see his face on his first Christmas.  Chris came down stairs and found me in a puddle of tears, snot and mascara from the night before. He just hugged me, teared up and wiped the snot/tear mixture.

We then went to his parent's house for breakfast. It was perfect! Chris and I were spoiled and so was Nuggy. Grandma and Grandpa hooked him up with a bunch of froggy stuff for bath time.  I loved that they included Aidan in the presents for Nugget.  I really needed that because it reminds me that he is not forgotten. Of course none of the grand parents could ever forget him, but I really need that reminder.

After breakfast we went home for a nice 2 hour nap. Once we woke up we headed to the cemetery. That's where breakdown # 2 happened.  Grandma Nancy had made an ornament that says Our little star with his name on it. Chris and I just started crying. We hugged while we told our sweet Aidan that we love him and miss him so incredibly much.  From there we went to my parent's house.  We were spoiled again, and so was Nuggy. My parents got us some awesome stuff, but I think my favorite things were the frog garden statue and a dragonfly to hang on our wall.  Nuggy got some blankets and a bottle with my dad's college on it.

Overall, it was a good Christmas, but a lot harder than I was expecting.  Snoopy is all snuggled on daddy's lap and Nuggy is kicking up a storm. Of course we're counting our blessings, but we are missing a huge chunk of us. So tonight, instead of kissing our sweet Aidan as we tuck him into bed, we'll lay in bed being thankful for our short time with him, his little brother who already keeps us on our toes and pray that next year will be a much happier time.

I love you Aidan Christoper and Nugget



  1. I'm glad you guys ended up having a good Christmas! I had a couple of breakdowns too.. but I guess it just comes with the territory, unfortunately! Maybe Aidan and Olivia celebrated together yesterday :). Their names sound cute together. Haha!

    Ps: I am dying to know why Nuggy's real name is! The suspense is killing me!

  2. My mom got us an ornament for Caleb, too. Our parents are so sweet!!