Monday, February 18, 2013

Reason for the silence

I know I don't post very often, but this time there has been a reason.  Aidan and Lucas are going to be big brothers!!!! We found out on 12/31 because I got heart burn from eating a pretzel. The plans that we had for New Years fell through so I didn't have to worry about drinking. Until the next day when my mom called to invite us over and we normally have a couple of drinks with my parents. I told them I was doing a 60 day challenge. My mom saw through that, but I still said that was the reason for my no drinking. lol

We saw 3peat at the end of January with a perfect heart rate of 170. The day we saw the baby...the same day my parents left for Florida. So we had to wait a week before telling them. Both sets of parents are very excited to meet this kid at the end of August. My technical due date is 9/9 so my c/s will be around 8/26. Dr. B will be keeping a close eye on this one just like we did with Lucas. The only difference is that I'm a "normal" patient up until 22w and with Lucas I was never normal, I was in every 2 weeks. My anxiety is pretty high right now, but I have my next appointment at 12w next Wednesday.

Thankfully a girlfriend of mine who also had a loss is due 4 days before me so she has really helped me out with my anxiety.

If my stupid google+ would work I'd post a picture, but alas it does not. 

I love you Aidan Christopher, Lucas Alexander and 3peat!


Friday, February 8, 2013

Aidan's birthday recap

Was amazing! "My Susan" (my bereavement coordinator/some big wig title of being the backbone support of starting Aidan's Book Corner) surprised me on Aidan's birthday. I thought I was going to the hospital to meet up with Jeff from Barnes and Noble of Noblesville to collect their donation from the Holiday Book Drive. What really happened is I walked into a surprise party for "National Aidan's Book Corner Day". It was perfect! My friend Melissa, from support group, was there along with reps from both the Carmel/Westfield and Noblesville Barnes and Noble. There were nurses and other staff from the hospital were standing there clapping as I walked around the corner. Mind you, I was crying when I saw what was going on and of course they had photographer there.

The community donated, are you ready for this, fourteen HUNDRED books combined to the two Barnes and Noble stores. Talk about being blown away! I also had friends sending me pictures of books that they were dropping off to their local hospitals. My friend Stephanie, who started Run 4 Everett in her son's memory, donated 63 books! Talk about being overwhelmed with books. Thankfully, the Noblesville B&N store donated a hand painted cart (by one of their employees) to store the books in Susan's office.

It was a perfect day. I laughed, I cried and I napped (hey, I had the day off and had been overwhelmed). The day was exactly what I wanted it to be, a celebration of Aidan's life. A celebration of what I have created in his memory. This year has been the most manageable in terms of anxiety and guilt. In fact I didn't play the "what-if" game that plagued me last year. I'm not going to say it's getting easier, because it's not. I miss my Aidster, but I know he's smiling down on us. 

Tomorrow is Chris birthday/Aidan's angel day. We are going to celebrate the birth of Chris (Thanks Larry and Nancy) and also mourn Aidan. We will visit him and cry and then be off to eat birthday cake. This is the first year (I know it's only been 3) that I'm making the focus be on Chris' birthday. Aidan is always in my heart and my mind, but I have to make sure that Chris gets to celebrate his birthday.

I love you Aidan Christopher and Lucas Alexander!