Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Random
I had a stupid post started about the diapers that I got in the mail today. Then I realized that no one cares about that. I sat here for the past hour trying to figure out what I wanted to write about. It hit me, I want to talk about Aidan. The problem though is that you all already know all of my stories about Aidan. I wish I had more time to get more stories with him, but I didn't. I keep sitting here trying to remember more things that I may have forgotten about in the hospital. The problem is though is that I didn't spend all of my time in his room. I was told to get rest and recover. I also knew that Aidan needed to rest and he was easily excitable when Chris and I were in the room. Part of me regrets not being there all day every day, but it wouldn't have changed anything. I was only able to touch him during the hands on time so I would have been sitting on an uncomfortable couch not able to touch or talk to Aidan.
I go back to work on Monday. I'm scared and relieved to go back so soon. My back has been bothering me every day and I'm afraid it's going to continue. Luckily I have my trusty heating pad and Advil so I should be good. We're coming up on our busy season so that should keep my mind occupied for about 4 months and while I think about Aidan constantly he won't be the only thing I think about.
I also want to thank everyone who commented on my post about grieving too soon. Me laughing and going forward doesn't make me love or miss Aidan any less. He is giving me the strength to move forward and to start my new normal.
I love you Aidan Christopher
Maggs
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I love to hear Aidan stories over and over. I tell the same stories of my kids over and over and everything just has to deal with it! lol. So bring them on, I love it!
ReplyDeleteoops, I mean everyone
ReplyDeleteI'm still praying for you Maggie.
ReplyDelete((HUGS)) Maggie. I know what you mean about wanting to have more stories to tell about Aidan. I feel the same way.
ReplyDeleteGood luck going back to work. For me, it was a good change. It kept my mind occupied. I'll be thinking of you.
I struggle with the same thing. I get frustrated because I have NO more stories to share, then in turn it makes me so sad I didn't spend more time with him. I was doing what I was told...rest & recover.. he will be there when I get better, but he WASN'T.
ReplyDelete((tears and a tight hug))
I don't think anyone would mind hearing the same stories over and over. If that is what you want to talk about then talk about it :) This is a place for you to talk about whatever it is that makes you feel better and if people don't want to read it then tough cookies, they don't have to.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you're able to take work a little slowly at first so you don't feel too overwhelmed and I hope that it is a smooth transition for you.
*hugs*