Feelings

I'm feeling sooooooooo much better today than I have the past three days combined. I felt that I had to be as strong as everyone told me I am. I thought that being strong meant I couldn't cry.  So when I felt the need to cry I just bottled it up.  It got really bad, I felt like there was a huge black cloud over me. I came home last night and talk to Chris and my mom. I spilled my guts to them and cried and I felt better. I went to work today and it was a completely different feeling. Not to sound cheesy, okay well I'm a cheesy person so here ya go, my head felt like a sunny day full of big fluffy white clouds. I know that crying doesn't make me weak and when I need to, I'll cry.

Part of the problem is that I had this idea that going back to work would make the hurt go away because I would be too busy working to think about pain. As I learned and have now accepted, that's not true. Only time will heal my pain. I'm also surrounded by people who love me and when I say that I'm doing fine they ask how I'm really doing and don't let me get away with a generic answer.

I love you Aidan Christopher

Maggs