I have poured my heart and soul into this blog. I've put my emotions out there because it helps me and I like to think that it's helping others too. Well I've been keeping something from you. I haven't been doing so well emotionally. I've been crying a lot more. I know that it's been a mixture of hormones and grieving. Aidan's birthday is in less than 2 weeks and it's been hard. I've been looking for stuff to get ready for Nugget and I find all these things that I wish I could buy for Aidan too. I feel guilty for being so excited for Nugget and I feel so guilty for being so sad about Aidan. I feel like I'm cheating both of them.
I've talked with Dr. B, my support group and Chris and am feeling better now, but I was bad. I had an amazing conversation with Stephanie and she really helped to open my eyes and know that I am and will be a great mom. I will always carry Aidan and care for him by continuing to tell story and I will be taking care of Nugget with a much greater appreciation.
To all the baby loss moms out there, be honest with your feelings because this pregnant after a loss thing is hard. Remember that you will never replace your lost child and that your baby is watching over you from Heaven.
I love you Aidan Christopher and Nugget
Maggs
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You are a fantastic Mom to both your babies, Maggie! This pregnancy after loss thing is definitely challenging and I think we all go through the same feelings at one point or another. I know I am. Hang in there, you're doing great!
ReplyDeleteSending love...
ReplyDeleteGIANT HUG!
ReplyDelete::big, squishy hugs:: Aidan and Nugget are super lucky to have a mommy like you!
ReplyDeleteYou are doing great Maggie, both boys will forever hold your heart! xo
ReplyDeleteWe've talked. & you know how I feel. I can't wait to see you in a few days. I love you. You are an amazing mama to Aidan AND to nugget. They both love you so very much. Hang in there & know that neither one of your boys feel cheated.
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