Thursday, May 24, 2012


For the past 2 days I have been in training called RTS. It's "Resolve Through Sharing". It's a bereavement program to help families through a miscarriage, stillbirth, diagnosis, newborn loss and infant loss. I really enjoyed the second day as I had something to learn. The first day was all about what the families go through. Well I lived it so I felt that I could have taught the class. I didn't say much because I was there to learn and not to be the teacher. I did learn more about miscarriages since I don't have any experience with that. They had a parent panel and I wanted to run up and tell my story too. In the introduction I did mention Aidan and his story, but it was super quick. As most people know, I love any opportunity I get to tell his story.
Today was amazing though. I learned how to make mementos (Pinterest people, you'll be seeing my ideas soon) and that was interesting as a mom. Natalie really did put her heart into making Aidan's mold of his hand/foot prints. The pictures that she took were taken with love. The sign that Ingrid made since we didn't have his named picked out has so much more meaning to me. Rather than just seeing "baby boy lastname" she took the time to write out his name. I took the time this morning to send them a message that even 2 years later they are a huge part of my life and that they mean so much to me. Then they started going into the funeral planning and honestly...I barely remember that part. I remember sitting in the waiting room talking to Joni. Okay, I remember her talking and thankfully our parents were paying attention. I couldn't hear anything (and they discussed that the past 2 days) so I did learn about this part. They also went over (quickly) what happens after the parents go home. We know that someone is still taking care of our baby as we walk out the door, but we don't know what happens after that. It was really interesting.
I feel like I had an "Ah-ha" moment yesterday in this is what I want to do when I grow up. I want to help other loss families. For now it's going to be just a volunteer basis, but I would like for this to turn into something greater. What my plan is for right now is to help with NICU losses. That's what I know and that's what I'm "comfortable" with. I envision that what will really happen is that I'll be doing other types of losses too and that's okay. I have a very open mind about this. I'm extremely excited about this opportunity. I'm very excited that I'm being led this way in a way to honor Aidan. I'm doing this FOR him. I'm also doing this for Lucas. I want him to know about Aidan and to also see his mommy helping others.
I have a lot more to say about the training, but I'm going to save that until after I can talk to my coordinator.

I love you Aidan Christopher and Lucas Alexander. I hope you boys are proud of your momma


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