Friday, May 27, 2011


My sister let me borrow her bumbo and I decided to take some pictures of Lucas in it tonight.

I love this little boy so much. He just melts my heart


Thursday, May 26, 2011

More pictures coming soon

I ordered a cd of the pictures that Katie took of Lucas a few weeks ago. I should be getting the cd in the mail today or tomorrow. I'm so excited! I also need to take my in-laws camera so I can get the pictures that they take of him during the day off the camera. 

In other news...I've lost 3 pounds! I'm now 9 lbs from my first goal weight. I've got a couple of pictures to upload to show what I look like now and will post again at each goal.

I love you Aidan Christopher and Lucas Alexander


Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Week 1

I weighed myself this morning. I lost a pound. That's it, just 1 stinkin' pound. BUT I'm so happy with that 1 pound lost. My goal is to lose 1-2 lbs a week. I'm eating smaller portions, healthier food and more healthy snacks.  I can't lose too much too quickly because it will have a negative impact on my milk supply. Giving Lucas milk is far more important to me than losing weight. Only 11 more pounds until I hit my first goal and my pre-pregnancy weight. Once I hit my 1st goal I'm going to buy myself a new nursing bra. I have little presents for each goal that I hit.


Tuesday, May 17, 2011

I miss

I miss Aidan... a lot
I wish Chris was able to hold both his babies along with Snoopy.
 I wish both of my boys were sitting in Chris' arms watching Saturday morning cartoons.

I'm so thankful for Lucas and the joy that he has brought us. This time last year, I didn't know if I could ever be really happy again. While I'm so very happy, there are times where I just start bawling because I miss Aidan so much. I don't get the sadness feeling as often as I used to, but when I do, they are so much more intense. Thankfully my c-section is healed for the most part and crying so hard doesn't hurt it anymore.

I love you Aidan Christopher and I miss you so much. Lucas Alexander, I'm so glad you are in our lives. I love you baby boy


Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

My first Mother's day with both my boys

Weight loss challenge

I wrote last year how I wanted to lose weight before we started ttc #2. That didn't happen. Then again I only went 4 months of not being pregnant last year. When I was pregnant with Lucas I couldn't work out. I was on pelvic rest for a few weeks at the beginning and then I was too afraid to work out. I did light exercise when I was pregnant with Aidan and was afraid that was the cause for my cord failing. I knew that wasn't the case, but I still was too afraid. I don't know how much weight I gained during my pregnancy with Lucas. If I had to guess, I'd say it was around 40 lbs. I just didn't want to know. I knew if Dr. B was concerned she would talk to me and for once I wasn't focused on the scale. I lost about 28 lbs very quickly and am still hanging on to 12 lbs and I decided that it's time to get serious about losing weight.
I have about 50 lbs to lose to get to my ideal weight, but I'm taking it 10 lbs at a time. My girlfriends are doing a weight loss challenge with me. It's basically the biggest loser. We all are paying $25 to enter this challenge and whoever loses the most weight, percentage wise, will win the "fee" money. The 1st challenge is going to run from 5/11-10/5. I just picked a random date to end with and once this challenge is over, we'll start another one to help get us through the holidays without too much weight gain. I won't be losing too much at a time because I am breastfeeding (as if my 80 bazillion posts about breastfeeding had you confused ;-) ) and I don't want to cut out too many calories to effect my supply.
My main reason for wanting to start this challenge is to feel more confident. I want to take Lucas to the pool and I don't want to think that people are staring at the "fat chick with a cute baby." I want them to stare at the cute baby splashing around in the pool. Of course I'm my worst critic and I do know that not everyone judges me on my size, but I do. I constantly think that people are thinking wow, she's heavy. I also want to lose the weight so that when Lucas is older and more active, I want to be able to keep up with him. Then of course there is the fact that I want to get healthy before my next pregnancy. Yes, Chris and I have already decided on when we'll start ttc #3 (no mom, I'm not telling you. :-) ) and I want to wear smaller sized maternity clothes.
So wish me luck. Here's my starting picture. I know it's not the best of me, but my camera is mostly pointed at Lucas.
I love you Aidan Christopher and Lucas Alexander


Happy Mother's Day-belated

I had a great Mother's Day. I was woken up at 6:30 by a babbling baby. Chris had given him a bottle to let me get a little extra sleep and when Lucas came into my arms he was a very happy boy. I sat there thinking how lucky I am to have my special little boy and then a wave of grief came over me as I thought about how I wanted both my special little boys with me. I know Aidan is always with me, but I want him in my arms. I only had 1 person wish me a happy 1st mother's day and I quickly said this is my second. I was so (and will always be) afraid that Aidan won't be included on my cards. So much that I told Chris that I'd nutpunch him if he ever forgets to write Aidan's name. While I was holding Lucas, Chris ran out to the car to get my present. I saw the card and quickly ripped it open to see what was written. Of course Chris didn't forget Aidan and honestly, I didn't think he would, but I still have that fear. Then I was handed a pretty box. My boys got me this beautiful necklace
I love it so much. We spent the day in our pjs until about 4pm and then we went to the cemetery to visit Aidan. I had to get a picture with my boys on Mother's Day. I have the picture still on my camera and I left that at work. Oops. When we got to my in-laws for dinner (we go every Sunday and have been for the past 8-9 years) I got another present from Lucas. He with grandma's help made me a very special garden. The flowers are picture holders and the grass says "Watch me grow" and there are two pictures of Lucas on the flowers. I love it. I was and will always look forward to the cute homemade gifts that I will get from Lucas on Mother's day. So that's how I spent my 2nd Mother's day. Much happier than last year, but it will always be bittersweet.

I love you Aidan Christopher and Lucas Alexander