Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving

Picture is from here

We have so much to be thankful for. We have our health, jobs, families and friends. We also have the two most amazing little boys. This year is a lot different for me than last year. Last year was okay at best. My mom did her best to spoil me and take care of me. I was pregnant with Lucas and still grieving Aidan. This year we have Lucas and I'm still grieving Aidan. Just the level of grieving has gone down. There is not a day that Aidan's name does not come out of my mouth. My co-workers are amazing and will just let me say his name and understand that I need to say it. Then of course they see new pictures of Lucas almost daily. :-)
In 2 hours Lucas and I will be sitting on the couch watching the Macy's day parade.
Last year I sat at my parent's house and watched it fighting back tears.
Today we won't be with our families on Thanksgiving, which makes me very sad, but Chris has to work
Last year we ate with my parents and they let me cry. They understood...
Today we will be taking Lucas to visit his big brother and put out his Christmas tree. We will let Lucas touch the grass that covers his brother. We will give thanks right there that we were chosen to be the parents to both of these little boys.
Last year we went to visit Aidan and I held up pretty well until I got to the car. That's where I do most of my crying after the cemetery.

I know I've said it twice already, but I'm so thankful to be Aidan and Lucas' mommy. I've held and hold both of my boys. I've loved on both boys. My heart is double it's size for the amount of love I have for both of them. Aidan will never, not be a part of my family. He will ALWAYS be my child and he will always be included in the number of children I have and on cards. This little boy is with me and even though it's just his spirit, he is still with me. Then of course there is Lucas. He continues to amaze me every day with the new things he learns. He still looks a little like Aidan, but nearly as much as he did when he was a newborn. He's getting his own personality now and is an absolute joy. Lucas is honestly my rainbow after the awful storm of losing Aidan.

I love you so incredibly much Aidan Christopher and Lucas Alexander


1 comment:

  1. Love you bunches. I love talking about Aidan with you. & I love that Bryson "knows" Aidan too. Thanks for being my bestest.