It's hard and I hate it! Lucas screams at my boob, latches on for a few minutes and then falls asleep. I love it during the day because I've had some sleep and can handle the "abuse". However, night time is awful. So I've decided (after many nights of crying, by both of us) that I'm going to pump and feed him bottles of breast milk. It was going to happen eventually because of going back to work, but I had hoped we would have been able to nurse longer than 2 weeks.
I'm enjoying feedings so much more already and we just started this morning. I'm getting the emotional connection through bottle feeding that I wanted so badly through nursing, but wasn't getting. Part of me still feels like I'm letting Lucas down and that I need to fight through this. I can't be selfish with this though as Lucas is having a hard time gaining weight when I just nurse and it's more important that he gets enough food. There is a support group that I might go to tomorrow for one last try, but I'm getting more comfortable with the idea of just pumping. To be honest, it's hard for me to actually talk about because I want to nurse so badly. I cry when I say out loud that I'm done, but in my head I know it's what's best for Lucas.
I love you Aidan Christopher and Lucas Alexander
Maggs
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Maggie, that's exactly what happened with Alex. As you know, he wasn't gaining weight so I started supplementing and I totally stopped breastfeeding at 4 months. It was really hard for me to accept because we actually didn't have any problems with latch or anything. For some reason, my body just wasn't producing enough for him. Now, when I had Lily, I had the most HORRIBLE time BF her. The first couple of weeks, she was doing what you say Lucas is doing. I didn't know what I was doing either and ended up with cracked, bleeding nipples. Luckily, the hospital I had her at had some wonderful lactation consultants who I visited several times. We both eventually got the hang of it but I really had to clench my teeth thru the pain for a while and use a nipple shield until I healed. I know exactly what you're feeling right now and I feel for you! Don't be too hard on yourself if you can't continue to BF. Like you said, you're doing what's best for him however it turns out! I'm here for advice if you need to call.
ReplyDeleteHang in there Maggie you are doing what is best for the both of you!! I want to encourage you to go to the support group too though!! I think there is also one on Wednesday evenings maybe? Don't feel bad if it doesn't work, you are still providing him the most important part, the milk!
ReplyDeleteDo what you need to do, and don't feel sorry for doing it! I will say that you could try to let him nurse at the breast occasionally (during the day, when you're well rested) because it's certainly nice to leave the 'option' out there but you have found something that works and that's the most important thing!!
ReplyDeleteI don't comment here often, but I'll add to others saying do what you need to do to feed your baby, and for both of your sanity. Some things you might have already tried or might hear suggested...You could try feeding him a little from the bottle then switching to nursing when he isn't so frantically hungry... or also nipple shields can help with your pain and for him to switch back and forth from bottle to nursing.
ReplyDeleteYou are FINE! Don't second guess! You did exactly what you needed to do. Nugs loves you and your breastmilk no matter what kind of nipple it comes from. ;)
ReplyDeleteGirl! I mostly pumped and bottle fed with Eli. Like the others said, you do whatever it is you need to do! Don't feel bad about anything! There will be lots of different trials and tribulations you and Lucas will overcome! Just count this as #1! you are awesome! You will make it and don't be so hard on yourself!
ReplyDeleteHey Maggie, I sent you a PM @ the bump.
ReplyDeleteAs long as you feed your baby you are a good mom! It doesn't matter if it's from the boob or from the bottle, heck it doesn't matter if it's breast milk or formula! You are a great mother who's doing the best for her sweet baby boy. And if you need any support just let me know. I'm here for you!
ReplyDeleteI don't know how women do that, the pump and bottle-feed thing because I had to nurse, nurse, nurse to keep up my supply. And I feel like doing it that way takes away all the conveniences of nursing, so hats-off to anyone able to do it. My friend kept up with it that way until her daughter was 7 months. WOW!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your new little guy. He's beautiful!
Hey Maggie,
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to share that I pumped so that I could bottle-feed J for his first 3 weeks. He had the hardest time latching and something just wasn't connecting at all. I kept trying the latch every few days, and on the day he was 3 weeks old, he finally latched and has been nursing great ever since. I tried all kinds of different things, but he alternated between screaming at the breast -- and being totally comfortable at the breast but falling asleep. It was pretty emotional, and I had pictured myself pumping+bottle-feeding for 6+ months, but one day it just worked! Whatever you do, you're providing EVERYTHING that baby boy needs to live, and that's amazing :)
Don't worry about it at all. I quit nursing after two weeks too due to poor latching and ungodly pain. Pumped for over 10 months. And felt great because then you can share the feeding experience. You are still providing the best for your baby. Let me know if you need anything.
ReplyDeleteAw Maggie, you're doing what's best for Lucas. However he gets fed is good enough for him and BF is no easy thing to get used to. I'm doing a little bit of both right now. I was ready to stop all together after 2 weeks because of pain, but it went away eventually. Hang in there and just do what's best for you both! XO
ReplyDeleteSO there with you in the feelings...you sound literally exactly like I did when my Luke was 2 weeks...and now at 9 weeks, I'm still nursing with bottles thrown in for convenience, but each week keep saying that I'm going to switch over to pumping because even though it IS easier now than it was at 2 weeks, it still sucks a lot of the time. I hate that I am excited that 2 months are already done because I feel like I am wishing time away and it goes too fast as it is!!! You do whatever helps you maintain sanity...no one haas any room to judge!
ReplyDelete...was wondering how often and how long you have to pump for each day because i'm considering doing that for my baby. He's 5 weeks old and i hate breastfeeding...he swallows too much milk...then coughs..then screams...then i try to burp him for 5 minutes...then falls asleep...then eats two minutes...coughs..screams...gotta burp him...and the cycle continues!
ReplyDelete