Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010
Well 2010 what can I say? You started off pretty nice. We went to Vegas with our little wiggle tucked safely inside my belly.
Then we took Wiggleman to the AFC Championship game!
Then we our plans changed drastically and our baby Aidan was born.
Our world was flipped upside down with the diagnosis of a massive brain bleed, but we held on to hope for our little fighter.
We said hello and goodbye in 8 short days.
We spent the rest of the year trying to piece our hearts back together. We started off using tape, but that didn't hold very well and soon we realized that there was no magical fix.
In June, we found out that we were expecting baby # 2.
The rest of the year has been filled with sadness, fear, happiness, laughter, anxiety, grief, more laughter and meeting a ton of new people.
2010~ You were the worst year of my life, but more importantly, you were the best. I met my son, got to love on him and care for him. I grew up,was taught to love deeply, laugh at the little things and remember that everyone handles things differently.
Aidan Christopher,
I'm so glad that we got to meet you and to be your parents. I'm sorry we couldn't protect you, but your story and life have touched so many people that I know there was a reason. You are the light of my life and I love you so incredibly much.
Nugget,
Baby boy, I'm so glad you are in our lives. You have given mommy and daddy a lot of hope and happiness. Every little, and now big, kick jab and roll just make us smile. You already have your own little personality and I'm so excited to meet you and get to know you on the outside. I promise that even though we will make mistakes, mommy and daddy will love you forever and protect you to the best of our abilities.
I love you Aidan Christopher and Nugget
Maggs
Then we our plans changed drastically and our baby Aidan was born.
Our world was flipped upside down with the diagnosis of a massive brain bleed, but we held on to hope for our little fighter.
We said hello and goodbye in 8 short days.
In June, we found out that we were expecting baby # 2.
The rest of the year has been filled with sadness, fear, happiness, laughter, anxiety, grief, more laughter and meeting a ton of new people.
2010~ You were the worst year of my life, but more importantly, you were the best. I met my son, got to love on him and care for him. I grew up,was taught to love deeply, laugh at the little things and remember that everyone handles things differently.
Aidan Christopher,
I'm so glad that we got to meet you and to be your parents. I'm sorry we couldn't protect you, but your story and life have touched so many people that I know there was a reason. You are the light of my life and I love you so incredibly much.
Nugget,
Baby boy, I'm so glad you are in our lives. You have given mommy and daddy a lot of hope and happiness. Every little, and now big, kick jab and roll just make us smile. You already have your own little personality and I'm so excited to meet you and get to know you on the outside. I promise that even though we will make mistakes, mommy and daddy will love you forever and protect you to the best of our abilities.
I love you Aidan Christopher and Nugget
Maggs
Friday, December 31, 2010
Follow up to last week's trip to L&D
I had my normal NST on Monday and I asked to speak with a dr that I have seen and knows my history. Dr B was scheduled to be in surgery so she wasn't available. Nuggy passed the test with flying colors and I had no contractions. The tech (that I really like) went to show my results to the dr I requested and I could hear Dr. B talking. Imagine my delight and relief when she walked in the room. She told me she was shown my chart and that I went to L&D and then asked why. I was honest with her and told her how upset I was with the way that we were "cared" for by the other dr in the practice. While we were talking she could hear Nuggy moving around and watched his hr and was very pleased. She told me what happened last week is their normal procedure, but I'm not a normal patient and need extra "hand holding." That's exactly what I was thinking, but I don't want to ask too much. She said that she'll note in my chart that I always have to see a dr to explain things to me. I only have 2 more appointments where I don't see her and I see the dr that knows my past, so I'm not too worried.
I left that appointment feeling much better and way less terrified. Dr. B called on Tuesday after she did a more in depth look at my results from Thursday. Come to find out, the machines they use are new and are known to pick up the mom's heart beat and so it looks like the baby's hr is going really low. So their normal procedure is to send mom's to labor and delivery to a longer test with more sensitive monitors. That's fine, but FREAKING TELL ME THAT BEFORE SENDING ME TO L&D!!!! Then she told me that the test for the UTI was never ran. She said to make sure that I don't bill for it because there are no results. That really ticks me off. We waited close to an hour for the dr to call in that test and it was never ran.
I had my second normal appointment yesterday and Nuggy looked great on the u/s. He was practice breathing the whole time. We just sat and watched his belly move up and down. Man I love that little boy! Then he passed the NST with flying colors. My dad came to this appointment and he loved it. When Nuggy finally woke up, my dad sat on the edge of his seat watching Nuggy's hr and listening to him kick the monitors. Dr. B again is very happy with the results and said everything is going perfectly. Yay!
Only 51 days until we get to meet our Nuggy, and not a day sooner cord or ute!
I love you Aidan Christopher and Nugget
Maggs
I left that appointment feeling much better and way less terrified. Dr. B called on Tuesday after she did a more in depth look at my results from Thursday. Come to find out, the machines they use are new and are known to pick up the mom's heart beat and so it looks like the baby's hr is going really low. So their normal procedure is to send mom's to labor and delivery to a longer test with more sensitive monitors. That's fine, but FREAKING TELL ME THAT BEFORE SENDING ME TO L&D!!!! Then she told me that the test for the UTI was never ran. She said to make sure that I don't bill for it because there are no results. That really ticks me off. We waited close to an hour for the dr to call in that test and it was never ran.
I had my second normal appointment yesterday and Nuggy looked great on the u/s. He was practice breathing the whole time. We just sat and watched his belly move up and down. Man I love that little boy! Then he passed the NST with flying colors. My dad came to this appointment and he loved it. When Nuggy finally woke up, my dad sat on the edge of his seat watching Nuggy's hr and listening to him kick the monitors. Dr. B again is very happy with the results and said everything is going perfectly. Yay!
Only 51 days until we get to meet our Nuggy, and not a day sooner cord or ute!
I love you Aidan Christopher and Nugget
Maggs
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Nugget's adventure-trip to L&D
So I mentioned that last Thursday I was sent to L&D after the dr was concerned about Nugget from the NST. Notice that I didn't say Dr. B was concerned... it was another dr. Dr. B was out of the office and I was assigned to a different dr. Nugget was super active that day and kept moving away from the monitors so I would lose his heart rate. After about 5 minutes of trying to find it, I gave up and waited for the tech to come in. I mean it is her job to check on me...about 10 minutes later she finally came back in. I had tried again to find it and I found a heartbeat, but I didn't know who's it was. She took my chart to this dr that I was supposed to see and when she came back said well it looks like we're going to send you to L&D for monitoring........MY HEART FREAKING SANK! The tech saw that Nugget had stayed on the monitor while she was gone so she took that strip to see if that one passed. Once again the dr said I was being sent to L&D. Okay, minus never seeing the dr, this is exactly what happened with Aidan. I wasn't told anything and just sent over there.
If you know my family's history, you won't be surprised at the fact that I just shut down. I was staring out the window and couldn't move. Once we walked over to the maternity floor, I had to go through the admissions crap again. The lady couldn't find my previous admittance, when Aidan was born, but then was able to find it right before having to go over everything. I was in the same room, just a floor below. Not good for the paranoid/anxious/terrified pregnant lady! We kept getting told that the dr who sent us over would be in to see us in a few minutes. I was put back on the monitors for a better NST and I was laying flat on my back. Nugget still was kicking up a storm and then got the hiccups. About 5 minutes into the nurse comes in and asks how long I've been feeling pressure. I had been feeling pressure, but I assumed it was Nugget balling up because it wasn't all over pressure. Yeah......not so much, I was having contractions that were being picked up on the monitor.
The nurses rushed me out of my regular clothes so that they could do a test to see if I would go into labor in the next 2 weeks. Well I was rushed out of my clothes, but the test wasn't given for what seemed like 30 minutes later. At that point I was shaking like a leaf! I kept thinking I need the steroid shots in case I have to have my c/s sooner. I have to get that extra little bit to help strengthen his blood vessels in his brain. I know the steroids are to help with lung maturity, but another bleed was a bigger concern of mine. Now, I was not prepared to be admitted to the hospital. Read, I was not prepared to be stripped down and put in a gown. Still can't read between the lines? There was no shaveage and I was sooo embarrassed! The nurses said put your heels together and let your knees hang down. Chris and I obviously know how Aidan and Nugget were created, but we're still modest. Let's just say, it's been awhile since I've seen that man run so fast to get around the corner. lol They did the test and after waiting an hour and a half that came back negative. I was also given a shot of terbutaline to stop the contractions and that worked too. The nurse did an internal to see if the contractions were making me dilate, OMG WHY HAS NO ONE TOLD ME HOW PAINFUL THOSE ARE?
The nurse walked in with my discharge papers...notice how I never once mentioned a dr coming to see me? Yeah that's because it never happened, the dr went home and never followed up with me!!!!!!!!!! Pissed is only a small word to describe how we felt about that. We had to wait another 15-20 minutes because they were concerned I might have a UTI, but didn't get the test done. So we had to wait for the Dr to call back in and call for that test. After I peed in the cup I got dressed and we headed home. I was so incredibly sore from the contractions, shaking and Nugget kicking up a storm. I was told limited activity and have spent more time laying on the couch the past week than I would like. I'd much rather be laying on the couch instead of in the hospital though!
So that was our first trip to the hospital with Nugget and hopefully we won't go back until 10am on 2/21 for his birthday!
Maggs
30w4d
If you know my family's history, you won't be surprised at the fact that I just shut down. I was staring out the window and couldn't move. Once we walked over to the maternity floor, I had to go through the admissions crap again. The lady couldn't find my previous admittance, when Aidan was born, but then was able to find it right before having to go over everything. I was in the same room, just a floor below. Not good for the paranoid/anxious/terrified pregnant lady! We kept getting told that the dr who sent us over would be in to see us in a few minutes. I was put back on the monitors for a better NST and I was laying flat on my back. Nugget still was kicking up a storm and then got the hiccups. About 5 minutes into the nurse comes in and asks how long I've been feeling pressure. I had been feeling pressure, but I assumed it was Nugget balling up because it wasn't all over pressure. Yeah......not so much, I was having contractions that were being picked up on the monitor.
The nurses rushed me out of my regular clothes so that they could do a test to see if I would go into labor in the next 2 weeks. Well I was rushed out of my clothes, but the test wasn't given for what seemed like 30 minutes later. At that point I was shaking like a leaf! I kept thinking I need the steroid shots in case I have to have my c/s sooner. I have to get that extra little bit to help strengthen his blood vessels in his brain. I know the steroids are to help with lung maturity, but another bleed was a bigger concern of mine. Now, I was not prepared to be admitted to the hospital. Read, I was not prepared to be stripped down and put in a gown. Still can't read between the lines? There was no shaveage and I was sooo embarrassed! The nurses said put your heels together and let your knees hang down. Chris and I obviously know how Aidan and Nugget were created, but we're still modest. Let's just say, it's been awhile since I've seen that man run so fast to get around the corner. lol They did the test and after waiting an hour and a half that came back negative. I was also given a shot of terbutaline to stop the contractions and that worked too. The nurse did an internal to see if the contractions were making me dilate, OMG WHY HAS NO ONE TOLD ME HOW PAINFUL THOSE ARE?
The nurse walked in with my discharge papers...notice how I never once mentioned a dr coming to see me? Yeah that's because it never happened, the dr went home and never followed up with me!!!!!!!!!! Pissed is only a small word to describe how we felt about that. We had to wait another 15-20 minutes because they were concerned I might have a UTI, but didn't get the test done. So we had to wait for the Dr to call back in and call for that test. After I peed in the cup I got dressed and we headed home. I was so incredibly sore from the contractions, shaking and Nugget kicking up a storm. I was told limited activity and have spent more time laying on the couch the past week than I would like. I'd much rather be laying on the couch instead of in the hospital though!
So that was our first trip to the hospital with Nugget and hopefully we won't go back until 10am on 2/21 for his birthday!
Maggs
30w4d
Monday, December 27, 2010
30 weeks!!!
Baby’s energy is surging, thanks to the formation of white fat deposits beneath the skin. (Have those kicks and jabs to the ribs tipped you off yet?) Baby is also settling into sleep and waking cycles, though -- as you’ve also probably noticed -- they don’t necessarily coincide with your own. Also this month, all five senses are finally functional, and the brain and nervous system are going through major developments.
and for this week from baby center:
Your baby's about 15.7 inches long now, and he weighs almost 3 pounds (like a head of cabbage). A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds him, but that volume will decrease as he gets bigger and takes up more room in your uterus. His eyesight continues to develop, though it's not very keen; even after he's born, he'll keep her eyes closed for a good part of the day. When he does open them, he'll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision – which means he can only make out objects a few inches from hir face. (Normal adult vision is 20/20.)
I'm feeling pretty good. My ribs are sore and so is my back, but I love it! We had an interesting afternoon on Thursday and I'll blog about that later.
I love you Aidan Christopher and Nugget
Maggs
30w1d
Saturday, December 25, 2010
It was hard
Today was much harder than I expected. I had a really good Christmas, but we all knew something/someone was missing. I got up kind of early to finish wrapping the Christmas presents. I had the yule log on tv that had some Christmas songs playing. Then I did a very stupid thing... I went to facebook. There were all these posts from parents with little kids. Going into detail of the twinkle in their children's eyes as they came down stairs and saw that Santa had been there. I wouldn't want anyone to not post about their Christmas, but I should have avoided facebook. I just sat and started bawling. I miss my baby and I so badly wanted to pick Aidan up from his crib and see his face on his first Christmas. Chris came down stairs and found me in a puddle of tears, snot and mascara from the night before. He just hugged me, teared up and wiped the snot/tear mixture.
We then went to his parent's house for breakfast. It was perfect! Chris and I were spoiled and so was Nuggy. Grandma and Grandpa hooked him up with a bunch of froggy stuff for bath time. I loved that they included Aidan in the presents for Nugget. I really needed that because it reminds me that he is not forgotten. Of course none of the grand parents could ever forget him, but I really need that reminder.
After breakfast we went home for a nice 2 hour nap. Once we woke up we headed to the cemetery. That's where breakdown # 2 happened. Grandma Nancy had made an ornament that says Our little star with his name on it. Chris and I just started crying. We hugged while we told our sweet Aidan that we love him and miss him so incredibly much. From there we went to my parent's house. We were spoiled again, and so was Nuggy. My parents got us some awesome stuff, but I think my favorite things were the frog garden statue and a dragonfly to hang on our wall. Nuggy got some blankets and a bottle with my dad's college on it.
Overall, it was a good Christmas, but a lot harder than I was expecting. Snoopy is all snuggled on daddy's lap and Nuggy is kicking up a storm. Of course we're counting our blessings, but we are missing a huge chunk of us. So tonight, instead of kissing our sweet Aidan as we tuck him into bed, we'll lay in bed being thankful for our short time with him, his little brother who already keeps us on our toes and pray that next year will be a much happier time.
I love you Aidan Christoper and Nugget
Maggs
We then went to his parent's house for breakfast. It was perfect! Chris and I were spoiled and so was Nuggy. Grandma and Grandpa hooked him up with a bunch of froggy stuff for bath time. I loved that they included Aidan in the presents for Nugget. I really needed that because it reminds me that he is not forgotten. Of course none of the grand parents could ever forget him, but I really need that reminder.
After breakfast we went home for a nice 2 hour nap. Once we woke up we headed to the cemetery. That's where breakdown # 2 happened. Grandma Nancy had made an ornament that says Our little star with his name on it. Chris and I just started crying. We hugged while we told our sweet Aidan that we love him and miss him so incredibly much. From there we went to my parent's house. We were spoiled again, and so was Nuggy. My parents got us some awesome stuff, but I think my favorite things were the frog garden statue and a dragonfly to hang on our wall. Nuggy got some blankets and a bottle with my dad's college on it.
Overall, it was a good Christmas, but a lot harder than I was expecting. Snoopy is all snuggled on daddy's lap and Nuggy is kicking up a storm. Of course we're counting our blessings, but we are missing a huge chunk of us. So tonight, instead of kissing our sweet Aidan as we tuck him into bed, we'll lay in bed being thankful for our short time with him, his little brother who already keeps us on our toes and pray that next year will be a much happier time.
I love you Aidan Christoper and Nugget
Maggs
Merry Christmas
Aidan,
Merry Christmas baby boy. What's it like celebrating with the star of the show? Tell Jesus that we say Happy Birthday. Mommy and daddy are having a good Christmas this year. It's not exactly what we had envisioned this time last year. We decided to have minimal Christmas. We didn't send out cards, we didn't put up a tree, and our decorations are very modest. We love it. You helped teach us the important things in life and we are celebrating that this year. Next year, we pray, will be filled with our traditions of Christmas past, but this year is perfect.
We love you so much sweetie and miss you just as much.
Love,
mommy
Merry Christmas baby boy. What's it like celebrating with the star of the show? Tell Jesus that we say Happy Birthday. Mommy and daddy are having a good Christmas this year. It's not exactly what we had envisioned this time last year. We decided to have minimal Christmas. We didn't send out cards, we didn't put up a tree, and our decorations are very modest. We love it. You helped teach us the important things in life and we are celebrating that this year. Next year, we pray, will be filled with our traditions of Christmas past, but this year is perfect.
We love you so much sweetie and miss you just as much.
Love,
mommy
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