answers to some more questions

Anonymous asked "How does it work when you have a child in the NICU? Do you basically live there, only returning home to sleep? Do they allow you to sleep there? Are you discharged and sent home without him?"

It sucks having a child in the NICU! I spent 5 of Aidan's 8 days in the hospital. We would go upstairs during hands on time because we were told that he needed his rest and to not be over stimulated.  I called up there at anytime to check on him. I also needed rest because I was recovering from surgery.

I was discharged without him and it was the most painful thing I had experienced at that time. There was a huge snow storm coming and the nurses offered to let me stay in the hospital, but without any care or room service. Basically in the parking lot of the hospital is a hotel so my mom and I opted to stay there. We only live about 15 minutes from the hospital, but I didn't want to get stranded at home. I demanded through tears to have a room facing the hospital, I had to be able to look out to see Aidan's "house" whenever I needed to. If any of his nurses still read the blog they can confirm that I called all night long. I was pumping every 3 hours so when I woke up to pump I called. I think Natalie, Aidan's night nurse, took more care of me that night with my calling than my sleeping son. I slept in because we decided that it would have been best for me to and we needed to run some errands before going back for the noon hands on time. I needed new pjs and I wanted to go out and pick them out myself so my mom and I went to Kohls. We were there for his noon and 8pm hands on time. We might have gone in for the 4pm one, but I don't remember. Do I regret not spending as much time there? Yes, but we both needed our rest.

There was a couch in his room and I guess I could have slept there, but I don't think that was really an option. They had said once it got closer for him to go home I could have roomed in because I would have been nursing him. Once we knew it was his time to go and made that decision they offered to let us stay that night with him.  I couldn't do it because I was trying not to cry around him. I wanted him to have a peaceful environment and I couldn't stop crying. I barely slept that night and didn't get up to pump because I wanted to sleep when I could. That was the best decision for us because once we decided to head back to the hospital (after calling all night for fear that he'd leave us) I had taken the time to get pretty. I wanted his last moments with us and with me to be peaceful. To be honest I wanted them to be happy to celebrate his short life. Not happy in a yay it's going to be a great day, but more having my make up and hair done.

Hopefully this answers your questions, if not please write another one and I'll be happy to answer them

I love you Aidan Christopher!

Maggs