Funeral was yesterday

Yesterday we said our last good-byes to Bud's body. One thing that helped me with Aidan was seeing him in the casket. He didn't look like the little boy I had stared at for 8 days. That helped again with Bud yesterday. Bud's casket was open for a lot longer than Aidan's was and I was just waiting for him to jump up and say psych. The body looked like Bud, but it wasn't the Bud I know. There wasn't a giant smile on his face like Bud always had. It helped with some closure.

So many people told Chris how much Bud loved him and respected him. "Little Bud" was thrown around a lot to let him know the depth. That touched Chris more than anything else. His daughter told me that Bud adored me and even though I knew that, it was nice to hear. We then got in line to head to the cemetery. That was the first time that I have been a part of it. If you know me personally, one of my ways of coping is with laughter. I kept telling the cars that had green lights that they couldn't go and to sit back and relax. I think that helped Chris also to be able to laugh. Bud is in a beautiful location in the cemetery. The sun was shining and as we were sitting/standing there the wind started blowing. It was like Bud was there with us at that moment.

It was difficult for me. I'm still grieving Aidan and I'm thrown back into the depths of grief for Bud. I know that I will come out of this on the other side again. This time I'm taking care of Chris and also trying to be there for Bud's family.

RIP Bud and thank you for everything you have given us.

I love you Aidan Christopher, Nugget and Bud
Maggs